I just dont know if it is all in my mind or is God actually playing a game with me. Since that day that we last chatted. i felt...i dont know either actually. i know what he said was really judgmental and saying stuff like im comparing him with someone like that. was i ever like that? was i ever all that he had said i was? NO!! i was not but yet he says it with such assurence that i am that and that really does it for me...i thought he knew me as me. i thought i have showen him the real me but and why must he say that i am that kind when i am...are you saying all that out of angry or you just plain hate me? i should hate you so much but yet i just cant....why? why must i still love you when you say im such and all im trying to do is fix it..ya i know its not that easy to fix it ya i know that even from the start but im taking RISKS! cant your bloodly eyes see it at all or are you too scared to do it as always...
forget it....i know you will never agree and plus you have made your choice. you have said what you need to tell me. you judge me just like that. yes, i have my own faults but at least im adimentting it but what about you....i was trying to be your friend at least but clearly u hate me so much....im learning from all of this..i keep seeing things or words that would remind me of you or songs that seem to play for you or you have once sing to me before i was forcing myself to make it like before when clearly u have let me go and im nothing to you..im sorry i have hurt you..when you ask me "are you afraid of losing me?" when the ironic truth about it i have lost you already what im just doing was trying to get you back but its useless now....i have lost you...and here i am still in love with a ghost of my unforgotten past..... i wish Good bye is so easy but it has to be done...even if it hurts alot....i guess its never worth it at all...