just finished my psychology test just awhile ago. it was really scary but boy! was i shock with the questions she gave though but after all that done she told me i PASSED! yahooo!!! hehehehe i was happy but the weird part was that i wished i could tell him...when i heard from my teacher i passed i wanted he would pop up like before...but sadly, i know it wouldn't happen again. he has moved on and he has long forgotten about me.....hay......ahhh! i dont want to think of him anymore...why should i be? heck! because i love him still....but i know soon i will forget about him this is what he wants i guess he was not the one for me...i guess..forget it! i odnt want to talk about him anymore its just crazy and its worthless =( he never love me as what he promised before.....i do hate him and i hate what he desided to do without thinking how i would feel... okie lets change the topic now things at home has been crazy. i cant wait for saturday to come this coming saturday because we will be going to the (PA) Prayer Asseembly for the CFC here in Cebu. Finally, we will meet the CFC community here. I told this to ate Joanne and she told me that there are alot of cute guys daw here espcially since its from the city daw. well, that one thing to look forward too but i was more interested if they have dance group or music group hehehe i just want to know more people =) but i know when i do see the band there i will feel sad becz i will remember him....hay..you know i wishes memories like this can just go away...okie enough of that person. its like im giving too much credit for that person when he didnt even do anything to save the relationship at all. he just it as if he has tried everything to make it work out and hell no! he just......ahhhh! i hate him so much but yet i love him..i guess thats why it hurts a lot because i love him for him and i hate him for not seeing this.....school keeps me busy lately plus the people who became my friends. its weird i met this guy through friendster he is from cebu but i had no idea how he got my email at first becuz the next thing i know he has added me in ym =/ well, i did talk to him. he is around the same age as me. he seems okie and freindly too. i didnt tell him that im in Cebu just yet. i just told him i was in Hongkong but will be coming back to Cebu by this week. i thought if i said earier on that i was in Cebu he might want to meet me...but he doesnot seem to be like that after chatting with him last monday. he was actually funny. he thought i was bisaya but i told him we are but i didnt grew up here so mostly english and maybe tagalog he just laugh. geez! he told i was cute and asked him why he said that. he said through freindster. and i was like" okie..." anyways, he is not the only guy who seems to be giving me such attention. there is ian too and gerald. both in manila but i meet them in different ways of communtion. i met ian on the interenet while i met gerald is throught texting. one pal mate and the other is text mate. both guys are okie and sweet. they always try means and ways to contact me which was so sweet. Ian is mostly i talked with alot esply since that time i was really down other than my family he was there for me. he was always telling me that maybe he and i werent might to be after all and that he is not worth my tears at all. i know he might well but..i dont know...its not that i beleive him compeletly but i know L well enough too so no comment. anyways, since then he has been trying to cheer me up with so many ways. that i think i like him as my friend but more than that not yet im taking everything one step a time. Ian, knows that i still love L but he also know that L does not deserve me. As for Gerald, he is has been really been sweet too. he calls me in the morning and then at night just to say good morning and night then sometimes just to let me know that he misses me..hehe i know sweet right? you know sometimes he would pass me a load too =) then one day, he starts telling me that he is really falling in love with me na that he tells me " i love yous" but whenever he says all that i will just say "thank yous" it seems so early and i dont want to be unfair with him same goes to Ian. both of them became my friends here and i like the friendship that i have with them now. plus i dnt want to rush myself into another relationship becz it wouldnt be fair at all. if ever i do get into another relationship i want to give my whole self not now when im still broken and in the process of healing still. i know i will be okie in God's time and i will find my true love. i thought i found him but i was wrong....he was my first thats why its not that easy but he was not my true love after all....it hurts but life has to go on even if it hurts alot..... i guess i never thought i would be like the song by kelly clarkson. it was the song really meant for me.....i guess thats why i love this song alot because it was actually for me from the start after all...