i just heard my brother will be going back to chaing mai and i wont be able to go....maybe it was best i guess. i just thought maybe i could see him or talk about it but i guess they just wont allow me me because they are worry i will just be so hurt if i see him with someone else...how ironic indeed just awhile ago he was online for awhile i tried not to talk much but my own hands betray me. why is it seem so easy for him to just forget everything while so hard for me or is it?..i really felt so mixed up inside. you know what that fella is so relax? my gosh! he really....i want to....nah! forget it! i dont want to be mad at someone who is as asshole like him...but why is it i feel it was still worth all my tears i cried and still do....even if my mind is saying fool forget it him but my heart is saying hold on....why am i so hopelessly in love with you when clearly you dont anymore......i hate you why you made me love you this much only to break and made a fool out of my heart like this..how could you be so cruel.....