i cant believe that its that time again when people who care ( i hope) will greet you "happy birthday" yups! my birthday is coming real fast even before i knew it. i cant stop it but its part of life i guess. you grow old and wiser i hope i do haha anyways, i guess i have learn a lot of things now.now that im wiser (haha) i wish! anyway, there is no such thing as a happy ever afterall and there is no such thing as everlasting love....these are just a bunch of words that made you believe in it when you were younger then when shit happens in thats where you will be tested i guess. anyways, im not saying that believing in those things could be that bad but dont depend on it so much. things in life is never that easy and we sometimes need to learn things the hard way to actually learn what we need to learn. i know i did. i always believe that once you found the one that made you happy from inside and out that person is the right one for you but i was wrong..i need to be happy for me not because someone made me happy. to be honest, what im feeling now is much more better compare to what i felt before. i guess i have grown up in some part. i know now that he never did love me as much as i did. and along i was the one who believe in forever between us but sadly he never saw becuase if he did why is he not doing anything about it. he just there smiling all the way i guess i dont know and freakly speaking, i just dont care anymore. that day i gave him his birthday gift was the last time i will ever give him anything oh shit! there is still christmas. well, a xmas gift wont hurt right? i guess it is the season of giving so who am i not to give when i can after all. i just dont get him sometimes he can be this cold but other times he can be this hot. You know that song by Katy Perry' Hot N Cold. well, i really think that song really suit him so much. he shows that he cares by asking how i am when in fact maybe he just being "nice" to me becuase i was sick that time becuase he knows it was his fault. hay...forget it! its past already. he is very happy now and i am happy with my life as well. i dont know if he has a gf now but most likely he might be becuase he is a ladies' man after all always around with girls. well, i do sometimes hang with the guys i guess more (tomboy) sometimes haha well ya thats that then. i still think of him but not often anymore. im actually trying to delet him in my memory. even though he thought me something but thinking of him just reminds me what a fool i was to actually believe him and the promises he said to me. i still care for him but...its different now..i know i cnt turn back the time but if i have a chance i would want to tell myself before not to fall deep for someone who cnt never catch you as you fall hard...