Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?
I cant believe that this year will be ending soon..so many things had happen..i can still some of them while others im still desperately trying to forget..i know what i said in my last blog was that i have moved on which i have actually. I never have his heart from the start because it still belongs to his first love....i am truly understanding that part now. he and i were never meant to be in the first place. i have been trying to be part of his world and his heart so much that i lost my true self. Resulting the most painful part for me..letting go.
it was so hard for me to do that though God knows i have tried so much but i simply cant get him out of my heart..its not about what happen between us because thats another case but its just different to explain really...is it silly? or just plain stupid? i really felt such a fool by him. i thought he means it but all he wants is "easy things" to happen therefore when something really hard he easily gives up like as if no one will be hurt...what a fool i was indeed?!
anyways, despite all the nasty things that happen. i did learn so many things as well. i feel so different even my heart now. all i know is that i will never be like before weak and easily step and played by heartless people who i never did anything to them in the first place. life is so hard sometimes to understand but its also hard to explain on why these kind of things happen.
i wish i can hate him...but i am not that kind of person maybe he is i dont know but i still love him eventhough i know he loves someone else. its so ironic because i always read these but when it actually happen to me in real life its just so hard to deal with. mostly if he was your true love....but fairytales are not real anyways and there is no such thing as "happily ever after" in life...i just dont see any magic into believing it anymore....its really a very childish thought but to be honest thats how i make my life more beautiful because i know realities are so hard to understand but for me with my "magic" to believe in it despite all the odds it just makes it easy to do....but sadly no one understands me on that and thinks im crazy or childish.....i wish someone sees me really...for who i am......i know he is very happy and i am happy too but my heart is simply missing the one thing that made it beat so much and no matter flaws we both had for each other i never stop what i felt because to me he was prefect and beautiful...sadly, he never saw this and just point a finger for what had happen.....
"Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you?
It's inevitable.
It's a fact that we're gonna get down to it.
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?
Isn't this the best part of breakin' up
Finding someone else you can't get enough of
Someone who wants to be with you too"