have you heard the song from the movie "walk to remember - someday we'll know"? i cant seem to stop listening to the song...its funny becuz as the song goes i feel its for me....i know he is very happy and he really has found the girl that he has been looking for such a long time but why is it i feel it snot really over yet...that we will still meet........maybe one their wedding day....i dont know...its been almost two years...but i still think of him when to him i think i am nothing but a bad memory......honestly, it saddnes me just thinking about it...taht i wish i had a a memory lost...for that part of a memory with him becuz...its not easy..it was never easy......i have let him go...and i am really happy for him but......why does it still hurts?....whenever a memory of yesterday comes in mind all i want is to just "get busy" anything i will do just i wnt fully remember it......its silly i know but somehow its working...in somedays.......i want to send him a msg but i just cant.....who am i? i was the past and she is the future....painful it may sounds but i have to accept it...i am accepting it.....i get my strenght to the people that is around me always most esciaply my God and my family....remembering those painful times.......where i almost break down...no one knew how i felt.....i almost went crazy.........that i wanted to end my own life......after knowing that i have lost everything.......i guess no one will understand that unless they were in my shoes....i learned my lesson....a very painful lesson.......i wnt say its finally over becuz it was the deepest cut i have ever felt....but i know im healing....my prayers are answered...someday i wish it will over...this..feeling i have....i know i have no right to even think or miss him anymore...but he will always be my soulmate...my true love......my first love.....and if only you could only hear me my heart now...i just want to say....i miss you so much more than you ever know......................
